Development

Plateau is not a word anyone wants to hear when referring to a child’s development. But that’s what I heard on Thursday evening during Charlie’s physical therapy. Actually, I heard lots of things (including LOTS of screaming) but that was the one that stuck out the most.

Once a month, I leave work early to attend PT with Charlie (Pamela attends the other monthly session) and I have come to dread it - which is too bad, because it is a treat to get an extra hour with my buddy. But he really doesn’t like PT. He associates poor Tracy with fear and work, and so when she walks in the door, he starts to get upset, and it just escalates throughout the hour. Last night, however, there wasn’t even a gradual escalation from him – he just went immediately into screaming and crying and turning red. He really doesn’t cry often, so it is miserable for me to see him get so upset. Meanwhile, it’s my job to continue to encourage and push him, and try to comfort him (which is virtually impossible since as soon as we get him quiet it’s time to work again – and he’s back into hysterics).

This week's session was rough, and since he isn't showing a ton of progress from the last session, it’s time for us to step up the game. We need to push him more on a regular basis. Exercises need to become part of our daily (and nightly) ritual. While I understand that this is important and will commit myself to pushing him more, part of me just feels like I only get three hours a day with him, and I don’t want any of that precious time to be spent in screaming. Short-sited? Yes, of course. Selfish? Yep, that too. But that’s how I feel.

After she left, I was having a really hard time calming him down, so I popped him in the tub. He loves the bath, and within a short time he was giggling and splashing and making a mess. Then we had dinner together, and he laughed as he tried to feed himself and ended up with macaroni and cheese and turkey and graham crackers all over (so much for the post-bath freshness. Oh, and I know, no vegetables with dinner is not a good thing – but he’d had a rough night already). Afterwards, he and I went down to the basement and I wrestled with him and tickled him and played, and he just kept giggling (the best sound ever) and all was right with the world again. George was stuck at work, so it was just the two of us and we had a blast. Thank goodness he doesn’t hold a grudge! So the lesson to me is that we can do the work and then have fun after. And hopefully the work will become routine and will stop feeling like work to him as he gets stronger and less afraid.

The bottom line with his physical development is that he’s not walking. He’s 19 months actual, and 16 months adjusted, and even at his adjusted age, he should be walking on his own. And he’s still not talking at all. At 2 years of age, the county stops adjusting age – so while he’s considered behind now, he’s not as behind on paper as he most likely will be in March, when they only measure him against his actual age. Not that it matters that they start using actual age – it’s actually a good thing in a way, because he’ll continue to qualify for the county’s programs because he is behind. But we want him to continue to grow and progress, and we have to start thinking of him as a toddler, not a baby – and treating him as such. We need to expect more of him, and encourage him to meet our expectations. It's hard to remember what he should be doing by now, since he's done everything slowly, on his own schedule. When I see other kids his age running around, it's hard to imagine he should be doing that now. But he is getting closer all the time. Today while I was cooking breakfast, he kept pulling up on me and just holding on with one hand while he walked around, exploring. The more interested he is in the things around him, the less likely he is to realize he's only holding on with one hand and get scared, so we need to keep him stimulated!

Before I go on, I should say thanks to everyone for still reading... and for your support. The last time I posted a slightly discouraged post, so many people checked in to give me a boost and comment on how well he's doing. I really appreciate it! And don't worry - while I get discouraged from time to time, I am also able to focus on how amazing he is, how healthy and fun and sweet he is, and how lucky we are to have him in our lives! I know he's going to continue to get stronger and braver and catch up. But I also want to write about the downs too, because it helps me to get it out and also because I think it will be neat to have a record of what he (and we) went through in his growth and development. While this is a great way for us to keep our family and friends afar up on how he's doing, it's also a journal for me - so I'm trying to keep it honest.

Today the rain has finally stopped, at least temporarily. We've had a week of lots of rainfall, so it was great to be able to get out with George and Charlie this morning for a walk. Our neighborhood is great for walking - tons of wide, quiet streets and a couple of parks. We stopped by the big one, hoping to get Charlie on the slide, since the therapist said we should get him to slide on his tummy down the slide for good sensory stimulation. Unfortunately, everything was still VERY wet, so we had to skip it for now. Hopefully if the rain holds off the rest of today, then we can hit the park again tomorrow.

We can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving - how time flies! We're really looking forward to having Nana visit for the week, and then having the Hallers over the weekend. It's so great to be able to have houseguests - after years of apartment living, I really love having a guest room! We can't wait to see our family and friends.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend! I'll try to post some recent photos later today.