Reminders

One of my colleagues had a daughter ahead of schedule recently.  Her baby was almost as early as Charlie, and she is a tiny 2 pound peanut like he was. I wish I could give her the ability to fast-forward her life for a moment, so she could get a glimpse of the future, which I hope will include a healthy, happy, thriving little girl, and a faded memory of the NICU. It’s so hard to see anything further than the NICU life when that’s what you’re enduring. There are no promises, and there are so many ups and downs. So I have told her what I know, which is that feelings of guilt are normal, that her baby is getting so much from her visits (even if feels like the nurses are doing all the things a mom should  be doing), that she’s amazing for pumping as much as it sucks, that I know what it feels like to have to leave the hospital without your child. 

Tonight I was making dinner to take her, and it felt good to be able to say thank you to all the people who kept us fed during those rough days by paying it forward. Each meal we received was such a gift, and I think we’ll never forget the love we were sent in those dishes.

Charlie continues to surprise me every day with how much he’s learning right now. He’s talking in sentences and constantly. His memory is impressive; this weekend, I took him with me to the grocery store (for some reason, he LOVES the grocery store) near where he used to go to Tumbles classes this winter. We haven’t been since February, but as we headed there, he said, “We’re going tumbles”.  We were still close to a mile away, but he recognized the route. I think he’s quickly going to be much better with directions than I!

The other night after the pool, he did not want to get in the tub, so I got in first in my bathing suit, and started singing the Rubber Ducky song from Sesame Street. Tonight when I started filling the tub, he immediately asked for “Rubby Ducky”. His manners are improving, and he often says “Thank you Mommy” when I do something for him, without my having to remind him. It completely melts me. Another thing he does that gets me is bless us if we sneeze.  The other night, I sneezed after he’d been put to bed, only to hear “Bless you Mommy” through the baby monitor. I wanted to go grab him out of bed and squeeze him.

He LOVES his Halloween CD right now – it’s a “Kidz Bop” CD that has a bunch of remakes of Halloween-themed songs, like Thriller, Nightmare on My Street, Monster Mash, etc. He’s a big fan of Monster Mash, but the “Candy Song” is his favorite. As soon as it comes on, EVERY time, he says, “Charwee want some candy?” It’s so funny how he relates to music.

He has his challenges right now, as always. Yesterday I got an email from his teacher saying for the first time, he’d thrown an honest-to-goodness fit at school. He was asked to step out of circle time to meet with his speech therapist, and I guess circle  time is one of his favorite times at school. Apparently he threw himself on the floor and screamed. We’ve been exposed to some screaming fits lately as well; this weekend, when it was time to leave the park, he screamed like he was being tortured as we rode away. So it’s not all sunshine and roses, and I know it shouldn’t be. Still, he continues to be a captivating, enchanting, and entertaining little boy with the best giggle I have ever heard. He blesses our life with his fun-loving spirit and love every day.